Holy Cow!

We've got cows in the news this week. I love odd news, don't you? Apparently, a farmer in British Columbia found that one of his cows was about to give birth, and soon she did. He noticed yet another set of hooves, and soon delivered a second calf. Later, when he returned to check on her, he found she had delivered yet a third calf. Cows give birth to twins every so often, but the odds of a cow giving birth to triplets range from one in 10,000, to one in 105,000! Mama cows can only nurse two calves, so one was given away to friends (and is being bottle fed).

Another heifer named Molly apparently escaped a Montana slaughterhouse leading folks on a six-hour chase. She raced through town (see picture, from the Great Falls Tribune) (I didn't even know that a cow could race!) then jumped into the Missouri River and swam across. The packing plant owner said she did things that cows simply can't do (he's been around cattle his whole life) and that she would definately be spared. After all that, I should hope so! Now she has a quiet life to look forward to; either in Montana pastureland or an animal sanctuary in Seattle. It goes to show what a little determination will do!

Accidents Do Happen, But...

Do you ever watch those real-life emergency room TV shows? You never cease to be amazed at the predicaments and life-threatening dilemmas people get themselves into. One featured a man with an five-foot branch pierced through his neck, another with a picket fence slat in a similar position. In one episode, a guy walked in with an ax stuck in his skull. Ironically, the ER personnel just smiled at him. Why? It was Halloween night, and everyone in the place was in costume. Unfortunately, he was not.

Accidents happen every day. Some can be blamed on one's own stupidity, of course. (See photo above.) Many, however, occur due to human error and negligence (someone else's), and could have been prevented with a little effort and forethought. Examples might include boat accidents, slip and fall injuries, dog attacks, hit and runs, electicutions, and, well, you name it.

Of course, some accidents aren't "accidents" at all. Today, I heard about a case in Long Island where a band of unruly teenages went on a spending spree using stolen credit cards, bought and hurled frozen turkeys at oncoming cars, severely injuring a 44-year-old woman, Victoria Ruvolo. The turkey shattered nearly every bone in her face.

If you have been injured in an accident (no matter who seems to be at fault) or as the result of someone else's negligence (or worse), ny lawyers can probably help. Get your free case evaluation.

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Good as Gold

When I was a child, we did something that most of today's children outgrow much too early. We "pretended." We could be anyone we wanted to be simply by changing our voices, our body language, and our facial expressions. Dress-up was optional.

We were great actors.

Every so often, during a "scene" one or all of us would suddenly come into a great deal of wealth. I remember our lines perfectly: "I'm rich! I'm RICH!" or "Gold, GOLD, GOLD!!!"

From a very young age, it seems that all of us recognize that gold is of great value. Maybe it's the way we use gold imagery in the way we describe things of value. For example, when I was little somehow I had the impression that a pot of gold could be found at the end of a rainbow. (I could never understand why the end of the rainbow never landed in my backyard.) I was taught the Golden Rule, I learned about the California gold rush in the fourth grade, and I know that anyone who was generous and kind had a heart of gold.

When people retire from their job, they get to spend their golden years fishing, traveling, and being happy (well, that's what I thought). When missionaries find someone willing to listen to the Word, the listener is considered a golden contact. Owning beautiful gold jewelry is every girl's dream, and finding a way to become rich, RICH, RICH! is something not to be passed up - it's a golden opportunity!

And, of course, if only the real thing will do, one looks into gold and other precious metal investing.

My personal favorite, of course, is golden delicious popcorn. That's right. Okay, my taste in gold may be a little low-end and offbeat, but it is definately affordable. I can have it every day if I want to (and usually I do).

Hey wait, remember the golden age of the silver screen? Or, how about the Golden Gate Bridge? In the Golden State??? (How DO I think of these?)

It's Okay! Hire an Expert!

Dear Cyber Surfer,

Okay. First I'll admit to the world that I'm cheap. I would rather do anything and everything myself than pay someone else to do it. Even if it means not doing it at all for lack of time, skill, materials, or brains. I'm just like my father in that way, maybe, who has always taken pride in doing everything himself. That is, until he fell off a ladder while trimming trees and broke some ribs. He didn't complain much after the fall; he just said the pain was tolerable unless he coughed, sneezed, laughed, hiccupped, or burped. Now, needless to say, the task of tree trimming is hired out, as it should be.

So, one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2006 will be to relax a bit and allow others to do certain things that I really know nothing about or do very poorly on my own or have no business doing at all and should be paying an expert to do.

One thing that's nice to let others do is flower delivery. Think about it. You could stop at the grocery store on the way home from work and pick up a loaf of bread and a bunch of carnations (you might think they are roses but you're not quite sure). You then walk into the house and thrust them at your sweetheart, saying "Oh, here, these are for you." She mumbles, "Uh, thanks, (what are these for?)" as she dries her hands and drops whatever she is doing. Now she fumbles around in search of an appropriate vase and the pruning shears. She removes the wrapping from the flowers and cuts off all of the stem tips for prolonged life, making a huge mess on the counter. Then she fills the vase with tepid water and that little packet of white granular stuff to make them last longer. She rearranges the flowers, stands back, and rearranges them again. Then she places the vase on the center of the table, cleans up the mess, wipes down the counter, sweeps and mops the floor, and tries to remember what she was doing before you and the flowers walked through the door.

OR, you could go online, select and order the perfect floral arrangement, and have an official-looking delivery person deliver it right to your sweety's door. Surprise! The flowers are fresh, lovely, and perfectly displayed in gorgeous vase! Now doesn't she feel special!

Now picture this: The family automobile has been making funny noises and the oil is looking a bit muddy. You hear a sort of grinding sound whenever you press on the brake pedal, and there's a growing puddle of something under the car that you notice whenever you back out. What should you do? If you are a certified auto mechanic, this would be a no brainer. Figure out what's wrong with the car and fix it. Logically speaking, however, it is likely that you are not a certified auto mechanic or you wouldn't have these kinds of problems, at least not all at once. Or, you never drive this car OR you are very, very lazy. In any case, the logical answer for most ordinary folks is: take it to the shop!

Let's assume, now, that you have built a website for your company. So there it is. Up there. Online. And nobody is finding it. You know there are things you can do to build traffic. You've heard about search engine optimization (SEO). But, doggone it; it took forever to build this dang website, and it's a good one! You thought you were finished! Now, what with "key word analysis" and "meta tags" and "page rank" and "link swapping," well, it just goes on and on!!! Why not let experts take care of your Internet Marketing needs? They know what they're doing, they'll bring traffic to your door, and they'll make you look GOOD.

The lesson here, folks, is: Leave some things to the experts... and relax.